Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
