we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
