I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
