Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
