So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
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Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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