Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
