you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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