Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
