nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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