I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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