wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
