OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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