You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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