And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
