its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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