i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Someone signed my nipple.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
