I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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