so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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