So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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