okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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