the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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