a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
