..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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