Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
