I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Who died my cat blue again?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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