eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
