im about as happy as oj after his trial
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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