Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
