Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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