Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize