Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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