I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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