just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
