shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
