when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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