He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
