oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
