cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
