could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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