so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it's like heaven, but drunker
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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