I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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