She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
