We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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