im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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