i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize