I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You dont lie about slip and slides
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
