I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
