I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
