my vag is so smooth its legendary
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
