Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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