It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
