you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
