garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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