he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
