you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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