think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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