I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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