i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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