Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
