haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
