And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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