The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize