Having a random hookup so left but love u
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
