and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
