I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
this beer tastes like vomit already
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
