every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
